It was a day like any other day. The sun was high in the sky and I had to…pee. I did my usual pee pee dance to let it be known that I had to go out. Ahhh, what beautiful weather. As I finished my business and moseyed around the grass, I noticed that something seemed…different. Something was…amiss.

The lawn felt soft and squishy – just how I like it. The sun was warm on my back, and I could hear the chirps and squalls of birds up in the trees. That’s when it happened. As I lowered my head to receive a pee-mail that someone left me on a bush, SWOOSH! A bird swooped out of the tree and dive-bombed me! I picked up my head – but there was no bird in sight. I looked to the right and to the left…everything seemed still.

Then it happened again…SWOOSH! This bird was out to get me. What did I do? I didn’t even know that bird. Was it the bird’s bush? I looked up to see where it was coming from and SWOOSH SWOOSH! I thought, “I’m getting out of here!” I scurried away but the bird kept coming – he was mad. Luckily, I made my way to safety.

Later, as I was recounting my tale of terror, I found out that birds are actually in the dinosaur family! A flying dinosaur tried to eat me! Well, he really didn’t try to eat me, but he pecked my butt! Apparently, he was protecting a nest of baby dinosaurs or something. Either way, I survived and am here to tell my story.

I learned a very important lesson that daunting day: peeing on bushes is for the birds.

Love,

Reggie